The Electric Mundanity of Mrs. Myrtle Standich

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Minnesota Twins Professional Baseball Game

Yesterday, the Kalesburg Senior Citizens Club made a venture out to see the Minnesota Twins of Major League Baseball play against the Rangers from Texas. In attendance were Mrs. Myrtle Standich, Mrs. Lisa Ferden, Mr. Walter Collier, Mr. and Mrs. Howard Kennedy, Mr. and Mrs. Luther Tate, Mr. Frank Wyland, and Ms. Allison Tuttle, among others. It was decided in the morning that the weather was optimal for a grand ballgame. Most in the party even wore Minnesota Twins baseball caps in support of the home team, the Minnesota Twins. Mr. Frank Wyland had a Minnesota Twins pennant.*

Mrs. Lisa Ferden had previously won free tickets to a Minnesota Twins professional baseball game, but had foregone this option as the Kalesburg Senior Citizens Club had purchased the tickets for all in the party. The professional game was splendid. A particular favorite was the Middle Outfielder, Torii Hunter, who was admired as much for his professional playing as for the peculiar spelling of his first name.

There was many a reason to cheer, though it was hard to stand and cheer. It would not hurt for the rows to have more room for such a thing. Regardless, the Minnesota Twins won with a score of four points to the Texas Rangers' two points.

The only other con in this atmosphere of pros was that the food was a little on the expensive side. Mrs. Howard Kennedy remarked that she could have had eight hot dogs for the price she paid for one. Mr. Howard Kennedy added that all in attendance should save their receipts. If the entire stadium did so, it may be enough for a court case to lower these extravagant prices. Said Mrs. Myrtle Standich pointedly, "Walking vendors do not have portable receipt machines." This argument was soon tabled and a compromise was met that perhaps the next game, the Kalesburg Senior Citizens Club could cover the cost of hot dogs as well.

*Mr. Frank Wyland spontaneously purchased another pennant before leaving the stadium.

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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Email Issues

Mrs. Myrtle Standich invited a group of people to her home last night for an emergency gathering. In attendance were Mr. Walter Collier, Mrs. Ida Willaby, Mr. and Mrs. Henry Yamin, Ms. Allison Tuttle, Mrs. Iris Fountain, Mr. and Mrs. Howard Kennedy, Mrs. Janet Wyman, Mrs. Lisa Ferden, Mrs. Gloria Rhinehouse, Mrs. Helen Gruben, Mrs. Marta Doyle, Mrs. Jillian Kirby, and Mrs. Gwyneth Dice. *Mrs. Dorothy Lamour was invited but could not attend because of the late notice.

The meeting was in relation to a recent problem Mrs. Myrtle Standich was having in regard to emails that contained deragatory content and phrasing. Mrs. Ida Willaby had also experienced these emails which clarified a theory of Mrs. Myrtle Standich's that there was another Mrs. Myrtle Standich who enjoyed these sorts of messages. Mr. Howard Kennedy remarked that this was why no one should use the internet "unless they are perverts". Many at the meeting stated, at this point, that they used the internet from time to time and not for deragatory purposes. Mr. Howard Kennedy refrained from comments after that point.

Mrs. Gwyneth Dice was the first to refer to this as a Kalesburg crisis and Mr. Walter Collier added that it was spreading fast and that something should be done about it. Mrs. Janet Wyman had even heard from her niece in Colorado that similar problems occured there with the email and internet.
A petition was written by all present last night. A copy of the petition is written below:
To whom it may concern,
We citizens of Kalesburg would not like to be bothered by pornographic content and/or deragatory content of any kind. It is our suggestion that a separate internet be made for such purposes. And, if this separate internet can not be made, we citizens of Kalesburg are open to other options, in understanding that freedom of speech and press are a necessary right and a good one at that. Otherwise, we shall have to refrain from the internet all together.

The petition will be brought to the next Kalesburg Community Awareness meeting to be viewed by all residents.

*Of no relation to the screen star of the same name.