The Third of July

Mrs. Myrtle Standich attended a Fouth of July fireworks display and extravaganza last night, Tuesday, July the third; in Kalesburg Park. In attendance were Mrs. Lisa Ferden, Mrs. Ida Willaby, Mr. Walter Collier, and the pairings of both Mr. and Mrs. Henry Yamin and Mr. and Mrs. Bernard Soloman; as well as many other notables from the Kalesburg community. Mayor Grant Dodds delivered a pleasant speech at seven o'clock in the evening. Though it was concluded that the speech was brilliant, it was also decided that it had been delivered premature as the sky would not darken until after nine o'clock.

The mistake left much room for chit chat, which the crowd eagerly used. This was also the case for the party earlier mentioned. Two hours certainly left plenty of room for topics, but the previously mentioned party was unable to move past their opening topic. The topic was why a fireworks display and extravanganza was being held on July the third and not July the fourth.

All in attendance were in most unanonymous agreement that there was no logical point. Mrs. Lisa Ferden said she understood the idea of delaying the day of celebration if the actual date fell on a weekday. Mrs. Iris Fountain cut in that she also understood this, but that it did not make sense, in reference to this year, to pick another weekday for the celebration. Mrs. Lisa Ferden agreed, adding that this was precisely the point she was making before Mrs. Iris Fountain interrupted.*

Mr. Bernard Soloman fervently argued that the Fourth of July should always be celebrated on only the Fourth of July. Mr. Bernard Soloman cited the historical fact that our forefathers did not refuse to liberate the country because they had to work the next day, adding that, "the least we could do is watch a darned firework display and extravaganza!"

Historical significance aside, Mr. Henry Yamin held issue with the semantics of the holiday. Said Mr. Henry Yamin, "If they are going to celebrate the holiday on July third, they should call it the Third of July. And if they're going to float the holiday around, they should stick to calling it Independence Day. That is all I am saying." True to his word, that was all Mr. Henry Yamin did say.

A vote was taken with the result being, once again unanonymous, that it was unpatriotic to carelessly shuffle our nation's holiday aside. An addendum was added by Mrs. Lisa Ferden and agreed upon that, in cases of the holiday falling on a weekday, it only made sense to celebrate the festivities on a weekend and not another weekday. A general agreement was also reached that the eventual fireworks display and extravanganza was enjoyable, but that it could have ended fifteen minutes earlier.

*A short apology was given at night's end by Mrs. Iris Fountain to Mrs. Lisa Ferden.